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As the question says, why a husband is called पतीपरमेश्वर? What does that mean for a wife?
Also, our scriptures say that one who devotes to the the Supreme Soul at the time of death, reaches the supreme soul. Rather whatever we think at the time of death, we attain that state after death. So, whom should a wife devote to at the time of death? Husband (पतीपरमेश्वर) or Supreme Soul, in order to attain Moksha?
At times scriptures talk in symbolism. However, on a closer look they mostly resolve to the truths of basic nature like being righteous (Dharma) and doing one’s duties whole heartedly (Karma).
Here are two verses from Valmiki Ramayana, Ayodhyakanda, Sarga 39. These are beautiful words of advice from grieving Kausalya, Sita’s mother in law to Sita, who has decided to give up life of a princess and go to forest with Rama.
साध्वीनां हि स्थितानां तु शीले सत्ये श्रुते शमे।
स्त्रीणां पवित्रं परमं पतिरेको विशिष्यते।।2.39.24।।
But for those virtuous women whose minds are fixed in chastity, truth, scriptures and stability, the husband occupies a distinguished place and is considered supremely holy.
स त्वया नावमन्तव्यः पुत्रः प्रव्राजितो मम।
तव दैवतमस्त्वेष निर्धनः सधनोऽपि वा।।2.39.25।।
You must not underestimate my son in his exile. You must treat him as your god whether he is wealthy or not.
What does that mean for a wife?
For a woman who has a virtuous husband, treating him like a god is her Dharma. Having fulfilled her duties towards her husband (and family) will entitle her to same reward as worshipping the Supreme Soul and thus she is worthy of attaining ‘Moksha’
Reference: https://www.valmiki.iitk.ac.in/
The bridegroom/husband is parameshwar for the bride/wife. The husband is the supreme Lord for the wife. The Hindu traditional stri-dharma husband is GOD, as followed by Sita, Nalayini, Savitri,Anasuya, Ahalya ....
One of the Hindu marriage rituals is Kanyaa Daanam:
"Mahavishnu swarupasya varasya etham asanam"
"Mahavishnu rupa vara swaghtam, ethamthey pathyam"
Saiva Siddhanta postulates the existence of three ultimate entities of realities. These are Pati or God; Pasu or Soul, Pasam or the bondage of souls. These three are eternal and have neither beginning nor end. Pati or God is in its nature spiritual in form and is Almighty, All-merciful, Omnipresent, just and perfect and all love and ever blissful. He is beyond the approach of Pasam and He is the fountainhead of eternal happiness when there is on return, when once reached.
Wife is supposed to serve Husband. Husband should be a devotee of Vishnu-Tattva. By serving husband and worshiping Vishnu-Tattva Wife can gain 50% merit of husband's pious activities. When husband leaves for sannyas then the son teaches the mother the path of liberation. But now it's not possible in this age of kaliyuga. Now both Husband and wife should be engaged in service of Krishna. Wife shouldn't forget the real supreme lord i.e Krishna. wife should give service and respect to husband as that of God. But yes wife should be engaged in serving husband and Krishna.
