Manu Smriti Says
Sixteen (days and) nights (in each month), including four days which differ from the rest and are censured by the virtuous, (are called) the natural season of women. 3.46
But among these the first four, the eleventh and the thirteenth are (declared to be) forbidden; the remaining nights are recommended. 3.47
He who avoids women on the six forbidden nights and on eight others, is (equal in chastity to) a student, in whichever order he may live. 3.50
So it is possible for male grihastas to have innocence and chastity similar to that of Bramhacharis
Is it possible for women to have similar rules to posses chastity equal to that of a kanya(damsel) after marriage, to be specific marriage followed by loosing virginity.