7

I would like to know whether a devotee (be a Lord Krishna's or Lord Siva's) can do love marriage? Because love can be a material desire and a devotee must not have such desires. But marriage is essential for the continuity of human life. If the devotee doesn't marry, how can he give birth to his Lord's devotees (his children, who will most certainly be)?

Will god agree for love marriage of his devotee, if the devotee is at strong will and fix in his mind about the marriage?

or

Will the god do some maya (like spoiling the relationship between he and his lover) and make sure that his devotee doesn't marry at all (because he doesn't want his devotee to get into the material desires).

Is it the same with case of both forms Lord Siva and Lord Krishna?

4
  • @Banto25 I think, if even the life partner doesn't support interest in the Lord, with sheer force of will, the devotee can change his/her to support. Am I right?
    – user12458
    Nov 15, 2014 at 14:54
  • @JavaTechnical On a side note, if its material desire then its not LOVE and moreover our scriptures do not distinguish between love marriage and arranged marriage, we have the freedom to choose our partner and marry as per the gandharva marriage traditions
    – Vedantism
    Nov 15, 2014 at 18:39
  • is LOVE not a material desire by itself. Loving someone is in this 'world' is a worldly desire. Am I wrong?
    – user12458
    Nov 16, 2014 at 3:32
  • Without love mairrage is blind and without mairrage love is blind.
    – prem30488
    Nov 25, 2016 at 5:53

4 Answers 4

6

Love is eternal. Love is God himself.

Will god agree for love marriage of his devotee, if the devotee is at strong will and fix in his mind about the marriage?

Yes. Your Lord is your Guru, he will bless you with powers and purity to fulfill your duties.

Will the god do some maya (like spoiling the relationship between he and his lover) and make sure that his devotee doesn't marry at all (because he doesn't want his devotee to get into the material desires).

Your Guru is "Antaryami" and "Trikal Gyani" he knows what really you mean by Marriage. If you are going to marry for just sexual desires and if you will in future going to be bad than your Guru will never let you ruin your lover's life. Because she is also God's child. And for God all are same. You and she both are God's children. God will never let you ruin her life. And vice versa if she is having bad intentions like , she just needs your money. God will also not allow her to ruin your life.

HAVE FAITH IN YOUR GURU/GOD/LOVE

Marriage is considered as sacred thread in Hinduism. Marriage itself is sacred. Hinduism is the religion that teaches what actually marriage means. Marriage is not in the hand of devotee, it is in the hand of GOD only.

Janam(Birth), Maran(Death) and Paran(Mairrage) are not desired by you, they are predefined for you by GOD only.

In hindu marriage, all gods becomes witness for two souls. Because Marriage is eternal love between two souls. This love has happened before and will last even after their death. No God agrees to be witness if this two people hates each other. This is not Marriage if they are done for some materialistic gains like money or something. In Hindu wedding ceremony wife is considered as "Lakshami" and Husband is considered as "Narayana". Do you think they are eternal lovers? That is why GODs witness. GODs witness for your love only that you have made in past lives.

That is why it is called in Hinduism that husband and wife are bound by thread of marriage for 7 lives not 1 life.

If you can not see Lord in your lover or wife than you are not even true devotee.

Samoham Sarvabhuteshu....

in SBG means I am equally disposed in all living beings by Lord Krishna.

Even every Lord married. Look everything depends on you. God will take your exam to check whether you are ready to take responsibility of your wife and children or not. If you are not ready do not marry. But at least do not blame GOD for your separation or divorce with your lover.

In Hinduism, every pair is said to be prepared by GOD only. If you will marry it will be for your good future, If you will divorce, it will also be good for you. Sometimes separation also increases "Love" .

Love is eternal, In Hinduism Marriage is symbol for true , pure love only. Love is everything. But make sure your love leads you to freedom instead of bondage. That is called purity of Love. Lack of love is greatest poverty.

Bliss of GOD is also a "Constant unchanged love".

In Hinduism marraige is based on the "Len den"(Give - Gain) of two souls Karmas. Husband is called "Pati Parameshwara" because Lord Shiva when married Sati, the relation between human and God was defined by marriage only. marriage is not show off it is promise of a man to keep her bride safe and respacted as always. That is why Lord Krishna married 16K wife to make them respected in society. All these 16 K women were boycotted by society due to Narkasura's kidnapping.

Marriage is like UN-conditional duties that one decides to perform.

Lord will give you power to fulfill them, but decision is yours.

God never do bad to anybody's life. It was always we and our Karmas for which we suffer.

You can not decide your children will be devotee or demon, future is not in your hand.

Your activities should neither be biased for fruits.

Karmnye vadhikaraste , Ma faleshu kadachana.

You can not wish for more until you fulfill what you have. If you are firm in your Brahmacharya you should never think for Gruhastha. You must have control on yourself. Every GOD in hinduism has weapon in hand. But they have "Ankusha"(Full control) over themselves. You also have to be firm and have full control of your thoughts.

If you have love and marriage ideas, then you can not go for Brahmacharya, in such case you must marry. I insist you to marry. Because in Vedas, Marriage is also considered as a part of life and Man's duty towards society.

Lord Krishna said I am the Kaama in the heart of the gentleman to rule the world-cycle. Means In Hinduism Kaam Sex is also considered as deity.

In SBG Shreemad Bhagwat Geeta...

A man reaches perfection by following his heart only..

Marriage is a "Shubha" auspicious work. GOD always protects auspicious relations. Lord Ganesha is worshiped for every Shubha Karya. :)

Only for the sake of Lord Rama and Mother Sita's Marriage (Eternal Love), Lord Hanumanji fired the whole Lanka. GOD will protect you if you love and love without any wishes and conditions.

A True devotee always understands what his Lord wants him to understand. And his heart will lead him towards God's will only. Just surrender unto your Guru and accept his will.

There is nothing like "Love Marriage" .. "Marriage itself is eternal Love." Even though your lover is not physically with you she is your soul if she makes you perfect.

That is why Radha is worshiped with Krishna.

Radhey Shyam.....

Love means sacrifice. Love is a wish of heart for someone's happiness. Love does not mean to be perfect by having your lover physically with you by opposing everything. Love never needs marriage , but yes marriage needs love every moment.

7
  • You said, when the life partner has bad intentions, God will not let the marriage be done. But the Lord can however also change her/him to be good. Will not he do it?
    – user12458
    Nov 15, 2014 at 14:47
  • Because the Lord must also ensure that his devotees wish be fulfilled.
    – user12458
    Nov 15, 2014 at 14:51
  • 2
    Everything happens as per God's will. your wish is "to marry?" or "to love?" or "to change partner?". Look everybody has their own story. God is not on duty. God is Lord. Even though he knows everything he also know your past Karmas. Your past Karmas makes your future. Your partner is not bound to your Karmas. You are bound to your own Karmas. You need to do Tapasya and then after taking your exam, God can do anything for your wish. Don't you think "Unconditionally loving" is better than "making someone change"?
    – prem30488
    Nov 15, 2014 at 18:19
  • 1
    Look God knows which thing is good for you. And he will do that , but you must have trust in him. God knows everything. Jut have trust in GOD that he will do the best for you. Give the command of your life to him. He will drive you. And he will do the best for you. Have faith because only faith is important. For just your wish making someone good for you is invalid. Let them be what they are. Why do you want to change others? Change yourself.
    – prem30488
    Nov 15, 2014 at 18:22
  • 1
    Love is the supreme feeling dear friend. Once and for always jump into Love. First love yourself, then love GOD and then love all. You will find that love itself is a deep sea and you will get everything in the sea that is in your heart. You will stop seeing others and you will enjoy your self. "Neejanand swaroopam Shivoham shivoham".. "Your true avatar is love" God is always with love. Love does not need others. Love is enough. God is enough. :) Love is always true. love is unconditional. Love means sacrifice happily. Love is supreme feeling. Love is the only thing that holds the world.
    – prem30488
    Nov 18, 2014 at 18:00
3

Swami Vivekananda was against the idea of what you call love marriage for Hindus. He felt that the cultural tradition of arranged marriages strengthened Hindu society. He also saw and understood that love marriage was the tradition on the West, but said it also had many failings.

A Hindu man should either marry or take to sannyas. There is no tradition of being a bachelor as in the West.

4
  • 1
    I don't think he will be against that idea though it may belong to the West and has some failings. Swami Vivekananda could never be against love marriage if the love is pure and the relationship long lasted. I don't also think that he would suggest some one to only do arranged marriage. For it all depends upon the individual rather than on the way they are married.
    – user12458
    Dec 7, 2014 at 5:46
  • @javatechnical My statement is not based on what I think. Swamiji has said in several different places. One reference is Volume 4 p. 476-480 of The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda - Article entitled "Modern India". Dec 8, 2014 at 9:39
  • Swami vivekananda was also a human afterall. What is written in scripture that matters.
    – prem30488
    Nov 25, 2016 at 5:59
  • @SwamiVishwananda if you are referring to this ramakrishnavivekananda.info/vivekananda/volume_4/… then please consider that Vivekanand ji was pointing out the drawbacks of blindly following western way of "love-marriages" i.e. marriage to satisfy personal pleasures. In my opinion this is not a concrete proof that he was against any kind of love-marriage or willful selection of spouse by a man or woman. Do you have any other references to support your claim?
    – Ritwik
    Sep 25 at 11:06
3

Will God approve love marriage of his devotee?

Marriage is a very subjective matter and there are many types of marriages. So it's difficult to give you a simple yes or no answer. But you can rephrase the same question to: Am I violating my swadharma by disregarding my parents' wishes and marrying someone of my own choice? I will cite one incident from Valmiki Ramayana below; you can decide for yourself.

Vayu deva (Air god) is attracted to Kushanaabha's 100 beautiful daughters and asks them to marry him:

Bala Kanda, Sarga 32, Shlokha 16:

अहम् वः कामये सर्वा भार्या मम भविष्यथ |
मानुषः त्यज्यताम् भावो दीर्घम् आयुर् अवाप्स्यथ || १-३२-१६

I have a desire for you all, hence leaving off the notions pertaining to human beings
you all become my wives, thereby you too will acquire longevity like divinities. [1-32-16]

Kushanaabha's daughters reply so:

अन्तः चरसि भूतानाम् सर्वेषाम् त्वम् सुर सत्तम |
प्रभावज्ञाः च ते सर्वाः किम् अर्थम् अवमन्यसे || १-३२-१९

We are aware that you inspirit all the living beings from inside, oh, the ablest divinity, we are also aware of your uniqueness, but, what for you are dishonouring all of us? [1-32-19]

They further remind him of the dharma they are bound to:

पिता हि प्रभुर् अस्माकम् दैवतम् परमम् च सः |
यस्य नो दास्यति पिता स नो भर्ता भविष्यति || १-३२-२२

Our father is indeed our lord and for us he is the ultimate god too. To whomever we are offered by our father in marriage he alone becomes our husband, so said the hundred girls to Air-god, Vayu [1-32-22]

After Vayu disfigures them, the daughters explain the incident to their father:

पितृमत्यः स्म भद्रम् ते स्वच्छन्दे न वयम् स्थिताः |
पितरम् नो वृणीष्व त्वम् यदि नो दास्यते तव || १-३३-३

'Our father is there and we are not independent, you be safe, hence oh, Air-god, you may request our father to know whether he gives us to you or not.' Thus we have told the Air-god, but... [1-33-3]

0

With unflinching love that seeks to marriage, combined with the Grace of Lord one must be able to change the life partner.

Because, whenever the devotee fixes in his mind, his life partner, then he already made her half of him according to the Lord Shiva's concept of wife/husband.

So whatever his character will be, it will be reflected on her too. Lord Krishna exists in everyone. But as the devotee has made her half of him, then only One Lord Krishna exists for both. If the devotee is stubborn about loving her, marrying her without ever getting fallen for another girl, her character gets influenced by that. Because if his devotee is stubborn and sincere in his love and the desire to marry, why would he not get married?

Also, the idea of loving someone must be incarnated by Lord Vishnu (after all it is a Vishnu maya), and Lord Vishnu knows the future. He knows that his devotee is going to marry her. And Lord Vishnu could never ever stop that marriage. He cannot incarnate the idea of love in his devotee on a girl who is unfit for his devotee's mind and at the same time he cannot also let the character of the girl change.

Because Lord Vishnu knows Love is not a game and that must not change on the basis of character of the life partner, for his devotee he will always ensure that he keeps several tests for him to test his devotees love, and if he passes all the tests (which is of course by grace of Lord), Lord Krishna will ensure that he gets married to her and also ensures a good marriage life.

If there is previous karma for any of the both that can lead to their separation, that Karma will be destroyed by the Lord Vishnu for the tests his devotee has passed i.e. for his unflinching love. Karma turns into ashes by the grace of Vishnu.

Karma is something that one SHOULD NEVER BE FRIGHTENED ABOUT.

2
  • You should cite sources. Nov 16, 2014 at 4:25
  • Very positive attitude :). Love is good, but Love for body is not that good. Love the person heart to heart. Accept them as they are. Then expand that love to your society and then to all of human beings. Then your love will expand to all beings. In effort to gain the person whom you love, do not lose the person who loves you (your friends, parents etc). Arranged marriage or love marriage, unconditionally love your partner and extend that unconditional acceptance to all beings. God will give you what is best, rather than what pleases you best for He knows all and He knows the hearts of all.
    – Sai
    Nov 17, 2014 at 17:15

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .