Dispassion means being free from material desires. That means the person doesn't have any desire for any object in this material world even for a living being. But I would like to know what is meant by a Samsaric being dispassionate.

  • What does it mean being dispassionate towards one's wife and children? Does that mean not caring about them or just caring very little about them or not doing Samsara with his wife (means not giving birth to children) or not loving her or taking it lightly when she has a problem or not thinking about her?

  • How can one be dispassionate towards his wife and children?

  • The Great Annamayya, Sri Madhvirat Pothuluri Veerabramhendra Swamy, Kannappa Nayanar etc. were married and yet great sages. How could they also lead their married lives?

  • What did Lord Krishna teach about this?

  • What did the Vedas teach about it?
  • 1
    question yourself: who was your wife before you got married? who were your children before you both gave birth to them? who were your parents before this birth? how many births would you have gone through (many, many, many) and how many wives, parents, etc. in each birth (many, many, many). Then how is it possible that your happiness would depend on these temporary relationships. The answer is therefore no. Your happiness lies within you. Thus one view of dispassion be not looking to get happiness from other physical relationships or other material objects but to seek happiness in God.
    – Sai
    Nov 19, 2014 at 15:42
  • 3
    you can love them better when you are detached. Attachment is not the same as love. For example, everyone loves playing games with friends. But usually people hate studying. Why? Because when playing games, results don't matter. Whereas when studying results matter (according to them). Thus their attachment to the results makes them hate studying whereas their detachment to the results makes them love playing! Similarly, when you are detached from your family, it is like just enjoy the moment with them, without worrying about them (just like playing golf without worrying about results!!)
    – Sai
    Nov 19, 2014 at 16:35
  • 2
    every relationship has two parts. one is you enjoy being with them and love them. the second part is you are worrying about losing them. this causes fear, anger, expectations, etc. because you are always concerned that their actions (or your actions) will cause them to be lost. Thus while you enjoy being with them, you are constantly worried "what will happen today, what if this happens, what if that happens" etc. The first feeling is Love (you enjoy their company), the second feeling is called attachment (you are attached to their company). When attachment goes, this is dispassion.
    – Sai
    Nov 20, 2014 at 16:12
  • 2
    so how to be dispassionate, if I care about them, how come I will stop worrying about losing them? That is solved in three ways. One is through self-enquiry or jnana. This consists of the first comment posted in this answer. Questioning yourself. The second is the sweet path of Devotion or bhakti. When I have Lord Shiva (or Lord Vishnu) to take care of me and my wife, why should I worry about losing them. He will take care of her (or him) and everything is in good hands, no need to worry. The third is karma, knowing that every relationship is karma so be good, do good, see good, all will good
    – Sai
    Nov 20, 2014 at 16:19
  • 1
    I choose 2nd one :) But I don't know why I am not able to get that faith even when I am devoted to the Lord? Why why?
    – user12458
    Nov 21, 2014 at 14:29

1 Answer 1


What it is to be "passionate" about something (or someone)?

It is to associated THAT thing (or person) with your Past and Future (this is Chitta-Vritti). When you let it water (emotions) your tree of Memories, or when you let it create castles of hopes, dreams, desires, expectations for your future, you are "passionate" about the thing (or person).

Now what about the Present?

Its the moment where the "Gem" lies, that every Yogi aims to get, and thus becomes a blissful SthitaPragya, that, in simple terms, is the one who lives ONLY in the moment of the divine Present. As its only the idea of Present thats absolute, and whether its the "realities" of Future, or perceptions about Past, it all CHANGES!

Its that tiniest moment of Present that transforms the Future into the Past. Its THE point where Past and Future meet on the temporal landscape. Its like Sandhya, the time when of a day meets night, and vice versa (its the MOST auspicious period of a day). Notice that the Sandhya-Kaal is characterized by the color Saffron of the Sun (that signifies the 'Self'). And this same color represents Renunciation & Transformation too. (Why do you think Sanyasis wear Saffron color robes?)

Now practically speaking, how long in span should the temporal sense of "Present" be, so that it remains tangible for an individual?

Of course it should be as small as possible. But how small? Is it 1 sec long span, or 1/2 sec, or 1/4 sec...? This series goes on indefinitely and never reaches Zero! You may have heard of Sages meditating for years. Actually they used to meditate (NOT concentrate), while keep on reducing the "span of their idea of Present" (like the afore mentioned infinite series) to an extent of a Bindu, where the Yoga (meaning "Sum") of Past and Future happens, where "Dvaita" (i.e the perceptions) gets dissolved into "Advaita" (i.e the Awareness)...

So "...what is meant by a Samsaric being dispassionate?"

Indeed, to be dispassionate, you renunciate your clinging toward your own PAST and FUTURE, rather than any material objects or any worldly relation you may have. ONLY when you ACTUALLY live in Present (with SHORTEST possible span), you are LEAST attached with this world.

Living in the tiniest (possible) span of your (absolute) Present, you AUTOMATICALLY follow Dharma, i.e walking the clear, unclogged (by emotions) path of awareness. Like when a wheel "rolls" on a plane surface it physically "touches" the surface only for a moment. Similarly being Dispassionate or Detached is to go on "rolling like a Wheel".

You can reach the answers to your other questions from here.

  • Doesn't the person get involved in samsaric activities? or does he do them with dislike?
    – user12458
    Dec 12, 2014 at 18:39

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