Geeta somehow says do not grieve over the death of loved one: so are we doing adharma?

Question

Geeta somehow says "do not cry when someone you love dies, keep doing Karma, birth and death are parts of life".

I don't know the exact words, but it somehow says this (If someone could correct the subject of this question, will be appreciated). Now, if you see daily life, you won't find a single person who doesn't grieve at the death of a loved one. We often fall in the past memories and start grieving again and again, though it fades slowly, but exists.

Let alone humans, even animals have kind of same story.

So does this simply mean we don't understand Geeta's that part? And by not understanding and following it, are we doing adharma?

Secondly, if everyone starts following this part of Geeta, in my opinion world might not exist. So why would Geeta want us to behave like not grieving?

EDIT: I found something that I was talking about.

“Death is as sure for that which is born, as birth is for that which is dead. Therefore grieve not for what is inevitable.” ― Bhagavad Gita 2.27

PS: In serials, it is shown even Krishna has emotions. This also complicates this part.

Answer 1

No, we are not doing adharma. To grief on the loss of something is natural, but whether we employ reason and wisdom to stop mourning about things that are but inevitable is a matter of choice. Common people like us generally do not discriminate and do not employ reason for such things. So when we grieve someone who is wise tells us wise and comforting words to console us. Similarly when Arjun was in grief foreseeing the death of his kinsmen Shri Krishna consoled him with those words.

In real life grief will be there, but when knowledge is mature you won't stay attached to grief or waste time in it. Eventually everyone who walks on spiritual path sooner or later gets to this level of maturity, but it doesn't stop him from mourning of grieving, but from not getting carried away by it. Even the Lord has emotions, what to tell of others, He is an emotional being. But at the same time He is also above it. So external emotions will always be there, but it will not be able to cause internal turmoil. In real life emotions will have to be there even if you are unaffected by it.

On a side note, I would like to mention that the Lord has told "whom these material things and experiences do not agitate becomes eligible for immortality". So while there will always be people in the world who will mourn and weep for things that are inevitable as it is natural, some will advance in knowledge and become mature to stay unaffected by these kind of things. Please note that there is a subtle difference between not grieving and not being affected. Grieving is okay, shedding tear on the loss of a loved one is okay, but staying attached and affected by it is not.

Answer 2

Grief over death of loved ones is not adharma but avidya born out of identification with body and failure to realize Self. To eradicate this grief of death, diseases, old age alone, Buddha(than King Siddhartha) left kingship and accepted monkhood and found peace only after enlightenment. Avidya was explained in Geeta Chapter 2

BG 2.11 The Supreme Lord said: While you speak words of wisdom, you are mourning for that which is not worthy of grief. The wise lament neither for the living nor for the dead.

BG 2.12 Never was there a time when I did not exist, nor you, nor all these kings; nor in the future shall any of us cease to be.

BG 2.13 Just as the embodied soul continuously passes from childhood to youth to old age, similarly, at the time of death, the soul passes into another body. The wise are not deluded by this.

Now an animal lacks intellect and can never read or understand Shastras or Self, so its pointless to compare humans at same level of animals. Perfected beings like Rama, Krishna, Janaka, sages etc., manage to establish in the Higher Self in all conditions and do their body activities which becomes Karma Yoga.

BG 5.7 The karm yogis, who are of purified intellect, and who control the mind and senses, see the Soul of all souls in every living being. Though performing all kinds of actions, they are never entangled.

BG 5.8-5.9 Those steadfast in this karm yog, always think, “I am not the doer,” even while engaged in seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, moving, sleeping, breathing, speaking, excreting, and grasping, and opening or closing the eyes. With the light of divine knowledge, they see that it is only the material senses that are moving amongst their objects.

This can be understood through analogy of Tree of Jiva and Atman of Rigveda as well. Thats why Krishna was equanimous when Gandhari cursed destruction to Yaduvansha, or when Dwarka submerged or when he was hit by arrow of Jara. Thats why people are told to worship perfected beings like Rama, Krishna etc., as what one thinks or worships, one inherits the character of that personality (Law of Attraction)

About Krishna's emotions part, its explained

BG 12.19 Those, who are alike to friend and foe, equipoised in honor and dishonor, cold and heat, joy and sorrow, and are free from all unfavorable association; those who take praise and reproach alike, who are given to silent contemplation, content with what comes their way, without attachment to the place of residence, whose intellect is firmly fixed in Me, and who are full of devotion to Me, such persons are very dear to Me.

BG 12.20 Those who honor this nectar of wisdom declared here, have faith in Me, and are devoted and intent on Me as the supreme goal, they are exceedingly dear to Me.

Ofcourse a human prefers company of another human, a dog of another dog etc., similarly a perfected being would like company of another perfected being or someone striving to be one and in Dharma, thats why Arjuna was dear to Krishna but not Duryodhana.

Answer 3

If you look at this matter from the perspective of a karma yogi or any yogi as of that, you can say that it is not wise to have such great attraction towards the physical body of someone, what deserves affection is the immortal atma or soul. But, we are all human and it is our nature to sulk for our lost ones and there is absolutely nothing immoral about that. Look at Shri Ram, he too sulked once he found out about his father's death, but being the yogi he was, he soon overcame his own maya and realized his father's soul hasn't gone anywhere. So do not feel shame for grieving over the death of someone, but divert your attention towards the immortality of their soul and that will help you overcome the phase.