Is there anything like sex should be avoided during festivals and some of the auspicious days like Ēkādaśī, Amāvásyā and Pūrṇimā? Are there any scriptures which can provide the details about the days on which sex should be avoided for gr̥hastha?
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2 Answers
Sixteen nights in each month - including four days which differ from the rest and are censured by the virtuous - are the natural season of women.
But among these the first four, the eleventh and the thirteenth are forbidden; the remaining nights are recommended.
He who avoids women on the six forbidden nights and on eight others, is equal in chastity to a student, in whichever order he may live.
LXXIX. — Sixteen nights are the 'Season' of women. Among these he should approach them during the even nights. Let him avoid the Parvana nights, and the first four nights. By so doing he would be even a Brahmachari.
--Commentary--
On the day wife gets her menses (period) - start counting.
Day 1, 2, 3, 4 - NO. Due to Asoucha.
Day 17 till Next period - NO
During Daytime - NO. Due to Surya.
Ashtami - NO
Ekadashi - NO. Due to Vrat.
Chaturdashi - NO
Amavasya - NO. Due to Pitrus.
Purnima - NO
Sraddha day - NO. Due to Pitrus.
Sanskranti day - NO
Festival day - NO. Due to Devas.
Out of 27/28 days (natural period cycle of women), only 12 are eligible days for sex.
Day 1-4 are prohibited due to Asoucha. Day 5 till 16 are allowed. Day 17-28 are again prohibited.
Out of these 12 days, no sex on any of these tithis (Lunar Days in Panchang calendar) : 8-ashtami, 14-chaturdashi, 15-Amavasya, 15-Purnima.
Among whatever days remain after above filtering, no sex on these occasions : Sraddha (for Pitrus), Sankranti (new month), festival days (Deepavali, Krishn-Ashtami, Ram-Navami, Maha-Shivratri etc.)
Next, if you want to beget sons/daughters, among whatever days remain, choose the even/odd days respectively (counting from 1st day of period).
Next, (probably the hardest) - NO contraception. So if you do not want to beget progeny, you have to abstain.
In short - if a couple want to live by these regulative principles of Gruhastha Brahmacharya (Celibacy even after Marriage), and have only 2 kids, and assuming both husband and wife are young & fertile, they would have sex maybe 4-5 times in their lifetime.
Personal advice (without Shastra reference) - For normal folks reading this, Do not be alarmed. Other than most orthodox Brahmanas, I do not know if any married couple in the world even want to follow these rules, let alone having the self-control to follow them.
Brahmacharya is not binary, it is a ladder. Except for certain days which are strictly prohibited (look for BOLD above), you don't need to take an all or nothing approach. Of course, you're free to emulate Sri Krishna, who was a Brahmachari despite having 16000 wives.
Last but not least - NO SEX on 'FIRST NIGHT' of marriage (like they show in cinemas), because Sraddha is done on marriage day as part of Vedic rites.
I've also answered similar question here
P.S : During the 3 period-days, even regular day-to-day touching of wife is prohibited. Husband has to cook and feed her and kids (even if he has to go to office).
According to Vyasa Niti, a part of the Brahma Purana, the prohibited days are Purnima, Amavashya, the 2 Chaturdashis and the 2 Ashtamis of every month.
A learned man shall circumambulate a temple, a tree in a monastery, cross-roads, and the preceptor who is of superior learning. One shall never wear shoes, clothes, garlands, etc worn by others.
One shall avoid taking oil-bath or indulging in sexual intercourse with women on the eighth, fourteenth and fifteenth lunation as well as on auspicious days.
The Parva days, i.e. the days on which some auspicious festivals are celebrated, are also counted among prohibited days.
