well, my spiritual life is very complicated. Since I became a Hindu, it took me a long time to reveal this to my family. Almost two months ago, I made a promise to Narayan that I would reveal my faith to my relatives (who are devout Christians), but in my misfortune, I did not have the courage to do so and I was unable to keep the promise. It's been almost 2 weeks since I finally had the courage and said to my family, they reacted very badly, but unfortunately I knew that this would happen. Almost 2 months after I made the promise, I finally managed to keep it, but here's the problem. Before that promise, I had many spiritual experiences, especially one where I met Lord Shiva in a puja and meditation session directed at Kali Ma, I even consider Kali Ma to be my Ishta Devata, in that particular event, things happened that made me confirm the truth of that faith that I follow. But ever since I broke that promise, I can't concentrate on any spiritual session, and my doubts, which were no longer there, now come back to me to doubt everything.
I know that many people say that Kali Ma, because of her ferocity, does not like to be left behind, so what frightens me the most is that now I can't keep up with anything because She is mad at me. I really need help, what should I do?