I read many places that there was a custom in ancient India. A man can not reject a girl who approaches him (Swayamagata Kanya). This was true for marriage; this was true for sex.

Is this rule is categorically mentioned anywhere? Was it a hard-and-fast rule? Or was it a kind of custom that people used to follow but not mandatory?

  • 5
    But Lord Rama rejected Shoorpanaka. So I don't think its hard fast rule
    – user22253
    Jul 17, 2021 at 14:30
  • Drona was also killed, even if he was a bramhin @Mr green Jul 17, 2021 at 14:56
  • @AdityaDwivedi yes so was Ravana. What's your point?
    – user22253
    Jul 17, 2021 at 15:42
  • 1
    Amrit ji, it'd be nice places to the places where you read about this custom, if possible. It will educate us all. Thanks.
    – sbharti
    Jul 17, 2021 at 22:23

1 Answer 1


Perhaps for Kṣatriyas, it is a mandatory injunction, as a part of their "Varṇadharma", to not dismiss an "approaching girl", but such an injunction doesn't seem plausible and valid for the other Varṇas.

We can verify this from this excerpt from the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam Purāṇa when Śarmiṣṭhā begged King Yayāti for a son.

ŚB 9.18.32

राजपुत्र्यार्थितोऽपत्ये धर्मं चावेक्ष्य धर्मवित् । स्मरञ्छुक्रवच: काले दिष्टमेवाभ्यपद्यत ॥ ३२ ॥


When Princess Śarmiṣṭhā begged King Yayāti for a son, the King was certainly aware of the principles of religion, and therefore he agreed to fulfill her desire. Although he remembered the warning of Śukrācārya, he thought of this union as the desire of the Supreme, and thus he had sex with Śarmiṣṭhā.

In the purport to the above verse, Śrīla Prabhupada also verifies this injunction for the kṣatriyas.


King Yayāti was completely aware of the duty of a kṣatriya. When a kṣatriya is approached by a woman, he cannot deny her. This is a religious principle. Consequently, when Dharmarāja, Yudhiṣṭhira, saw Arjuna unhappy after Arjuna returned from Dvārakā, he asked whether Arjuna had refused a woman who had begged for a son.

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    But in same story Kacha, son of Brihaspati, rejected Devayani. I think this is only for Kshatriyas not for all Varnas? But Rama rejected Surpanaka too
    – The Destroyer
    Apr 22, 2022 at 5:47
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    Rama had the special vow of 'Eka-Patni vrata'. Plus he's not in his regular Kshatriya attire, he's on a Vana-vasa.
    – Vivikta
    Apr 22, 2022 at 8:10

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