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We all know that the worship to God only comes after Mother, Father and Teacher.

I've also heard that even if the Mother is not right and causes trouble, we should learn to adjust with her?

Are there any quoted texts from our Puranas which say that we must not ignore mother even if she causes harm to their sons/daughters?

4 Answers 4

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Not only just the mother, in general, Hindu scriptures state that one should always behave in a way which is agreeable to one's parents.

See the verses given below:


Manu Smriti 2.227. That trouble (and pain) which the parents undergo on the birth of (their) children, cannot be compensated even in a hundred years.

2.228. Let him always do what is agreeable to those (two) and always (what may please) his teacher; when those three are pleased, he obtains all (those rewards which) austerities (yield)

2.229. Obedience towards those three is declared to be the best (form of) austerity; let him not perform other meritorious acts without their permission


The mother is also regarded as the superior most among all elders.

There is no Sastra superior to the Vedas; there is no elderly person superior to the mother ; and there is no friend superior to charity both in this world and and in the next. But what is given to an unworthy person, consumes the family up to the seventh generation. (149)

Atri Smriti

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  • 1
    Thank you for the answer. But what if in case, the Mother causes harm mentally at all times to their child? Like kind of mental torture that the child decides to abandon the mother? Is it Ok
    – Newbie
    Jul 6 at 10:48
  • Mother should not be abandoned unless she commits a crime that causes loss of caste .. In this case one may avoid her to remedy the situation but the son must continue doing his duties towards the mother .. because ultimately the child exists only due to it's mother @Newbie
    – Rickross
    Jul 6 at 13:03
  • Could you please tell me what are the duties that one must continue to do ? And is it OK to abandon if she speaks ill of father and other families?
    – Newbie
    Jul 6 at 14:53
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    In that case she can be avoided completely IMO @Newbie
    – Rickross
    Jul 7 at 5:38
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    Yes .. a husband can abandon wife under certain conditions and it seems in this case those conditions are met .. also it's not a problem for her to live on her own @Newbie
    – Rickross
    Jul 7 at 6:38
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According to Manusmriti Chapter 2, Mother is more venerable than Father and Guru.

  1. The teacher (akarya) is ten times more venerable than a sub-teacher (upadhyaya), the father a hundred times more than the teacher, but the mother a thousand times more than the father.

  2. Of him who gives natural birth and him who gives (the knowledge of) the Veda, the giver of the Veda is the more venerable father; for the birth for the sake of the Veda (ensures) eternal (rewards) both in this (life) and after death.

Bhishma said same thing in Mahabharata.

One Acarya is superior to ten Brahmanas learned in the Vedas. One Upadhyaya is again superior to ten Acaryas. The father, again, is superior to ten Upadhyayas. The mother again, is superior to ten fathers, or perhaps, the whole world, in importance. There is no one that deserves such reverence as the mother. In my opinion, however, the preceptor is worthy of greater reverence than the father or even the mother. The father and the mother are authors of one’s being.

In the same chapter he said;

The father and the mother, however much they may offend, should never be slain. By not punishing a father and a mother, (even if they deserve punishment), one does not incur sin.

The child must follow his/her parents.

"Bhishma said, 'The worship of mother, father, and preceptor is most important according to me. The man who attends to that duty here, succeeds in acquiring great fame and many regions of felicity. Worshipped with respect by you, whatever they will command you, be it consistent with righteousness or in consistent with it, should be done unhesitatingly, O Yudhishthira! One should never do what they forbid. Without doubt, that which they command should always be done.

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  • Thank you for the answer. But what if in case, the Mother causes harm mentally at all times to their child? Like kind of mental torture that the child decides to abandon the mother? Is it Ok –
    – Newbie
    Jul 6 at 11:39
  • Could you please tell me what are the duties that one must continue to do ? And is it OK to abandon if she speaks ill of father and other families?
    – Newbie
    Jul 6 at 15:22
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    @Newbie Hey Newbie, I'm Hindu mytho addict, and mythology has lots of stories of people who had bad mothers. In Ramayan, look at Bharat & Kaikeyi. After his brother gets back, Bharat obeys him to reconcile with her right ? But he's not ok with Kaikeyi, he's grossed out by what she did, and he stays away from her. Not all moms are great, some of 'em are pretty horrid I think ? It's ok to acknowledge that, find ways to deal imo. (Also plz ignore this comment if it's not helpful and I can delete it later. I think a lot of ppl are dealing with abusive mothers and it's a taboo subject in general.)
    – user27626
    Jul 7 at 2:42
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    @MissR, thank you for your comment. From what I've read, I learnt that Mother occupies a position above God. But in reality, certain mothers are not that good. They speak ill of father and other people. They pick a problem for each and every situation and make the life tough to live with them. So, there's a lot of mental harm and torture. But just want to get some clarification on whether there's any mention in Veda's & Shastras that says otherwise.
    – Newbie
    Jul 7 at 3:39
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I am adding the Upanishadic teaching about mother.

Do not neglect your duties to the gods and the Manes. Treat your mother as God. Treat your father as God. Treat your teacher as God. Treat your guest as God. Whatever deeds are faultless, these are to be performed - not others. Whatever good works have been performed by us, those should be performed by you - not others.

Taittiriya Upanishad I.xi.2

What should one do if one's mother is not behaving correctly?

One should have a direct talk with her. If the problem persists then there is nothing more one can do.

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In the modern context one cannot answer if a person is allowed to leave an abusive and unrighteous mother, because women are working these days and can make a living or subsistence on their own.

However, the ancient Hinduism's dharmika scriptural view on women is that they shouldn't work at all, and must always be used the care, guidance and guardianship of a male relative throughout her lifetime (i.e., under her father's control when a child, under her husband's control when married, and under her sons or other close male relatives if both father and husband are not present), as I discuss in this answer.

Now, coming to the importance of Parents and specifically the Mother.

Consider these excerpts from the two Mahā-Purāṇas.

1. Skandamahāpurāṇam Verse 7.1.1.25-26

25-26. Just as Maheśvara, the Lord of Devas, is the most excellent one among Suras, just as Gaṅgā is the greatest of all rivers, just as Brāhmaṇa is the greatest of all castes, just as Oṃkāra is the foremost among all Akṣaras (syllables), just as mother is the greatest among those worthy of adoration, just as father is the greatest (most respectable) of all elders,...


2. Padma Maha-Purāṇa Verse 3.51.34-46

For life’s sake he should never talk hatefully with the elders. Even though excellent in other virtues, a man who hates his elders, falls down.

35b-40a. Out of these, five are to be specially respected: Out of these the first three are the greatest, and out of these (three) the mother is the most venerable. He who desires his welfare, should specially respect, with all efforts, even by casting his life, these five.

*As long as the father and the mother remain unchanged (in mind or attitude), a son should, giving up everything (else), be attached to them. If, by the good qualities of their son, the father and the mother are well pleased, then, the son would obtain all religious merits.

40b-45a. There is no (other) deity like the mother, and no (other) venerable person like the father. There can never be in their case doing good to them in return. He should always do what pleases them by means of deeds, thought and words. Without being permitted by them, he should not follow any other course of conduct except (in the case of rites having) liberation as their fruit or the obligatory and occasional (rites).

In this world, a man attains greatness by serving his mother.

Thus, a Mother is the greatest person in an individual life and she must be respected despite her any sort of behavior, as per the scriptures.


Some ideal sons in the Scriptures -

Now let me provide some examples from the scriptures, about sons who respected and catered to their parents despite all sorts of hardships.

  • The foremost example is of God Sri Râma. It's needless to say what all Kaikeyi did to the Lord, and even her husband. Even so then the Lord set an exemplar example of an ideal son. He even sought forgiveness from his father on Kaikeyi's behalf, as found in the Valmiki Ramayan Verse 7-119-25-27.

  • In a story found in the Padma Maha-Purāṇa Verse 2.4.15-45 a pious Brahmin Śivaśarman's son named Somaśarman, kept up with his parents despite several abuses and hardships.


To Conclude -

A mother is the greatest person for an individual who must be respected, come what may. Even if she's abusive or rude, it's the foremost duty of the son to take care of her, and support her, notwithstanding her unrighteousness, since women are not allowed to work outside home, as per scriptures. The two exemplar examples of ideal sons are a testimony to such ideals and guidelines for a son.

So, yes even if the Mother is not right and causes trouble, we should learn to adjust with her. That's correct.

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  • Thank you for the answer. But in case , the mother causes mental torture for every day and causes distress to family and other relatives, should all the relatives and family face this distress just because one's mother is like that?
    – Newbie
    Jul 7 at 5:58
  • The husband can leave an abusive and unrighteous wife. A son cannot leave a mother, whatever she maybe. That's my thought and opinion, after reading relevant literature, on this problem @Newbie so a progeny cannot leave a mother or disregard her.
    – Vivikta
    Jul 7 at 8:40
  • Leave meaning abandon. Disregard in the sense? Like not respecting her? Is it OK to abandon ?
    – Newbie
    Jul 7 at 10:55
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    Yes. In the present modern context, if she can live on her own, the husband can abandon her as per scriptures. (and divorce in the legal sense, obviously through due legal procedures). So yes, the child must not disrespect Mother under any circumstances, but if she can survive on her own, it's better to part ways rather to stay in a vitriolic relationship. @Newbie Hope this helps!
    – Vivikta
    Jul 7 at 11:14

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