I've lately been feeling quite lonely, due to - at least what I feel is a lack of - deep/meaningful connection. I am not sure where this sudden desire for community/friendship came from. I'm a university student and I didn't really have a group of friends for many years but suddenly I am feeling quite sad and moping around.
I'm trying to put myself out there and have what one may consider "friends" but all of these connections feel superficial. I don't have much connection to family as I live in the United States and they're in India. I've done daily sandhyāvandanā for years and it has always helped me feel better dealing with various issues (mostly academic / physical in nature) but even my daily prayers are not giving me comfort now.
As someone spiritually inclined, this is quite bothering to me, and I am not able to either focus on my academic pursuits, or my spiritual pursuits. I'm always thinking of one or another person, over analyzing why I might not be getting text responses, etc. etc. A verse from the subrahmanya bhujangam composed by Adi Shankaracharya comes to mind here:
अहं सर्वदा दुःखभारावसन्नो
भवान्दीनबन्धुस्त्वदन्यं न याचे ।
भवद्भक्तिरोधं सदा क्ऌप्तबाधं
ममाधिं द्रुतं नाशयोमासुत त्वम् ||
Aham Sarvadaa Duhkha-Bhaara-Avasanno
Bhavaan-Diina-Bandhus-Tvad-Anyam Na Yaace |
Bhavad-Bhakti-Rodham Sadaa Klpta-Baadham
Mama-[A]adhim Drutam Naashayo[a-U]maa-Suta Tvam ||
I am always sunken with the burden of Sorrows, You are the Friend of the Miserable in all the Worlds; apart from You, I Pray to None Else, Preventing full Devotion towards You by always causing Obstacles ... are my Mental Sorrows; O the Son of Uma, please Destroy them Quickly.
Would appreciate any perspective at all. Thank you.