I want to know how should I start my journey I'm trying to start my spiritual journey but all the time something comes in the way 2 months ago I started doing ajapa japa after 21 days I got high fever after getting well I started again then my family planned a trip to kolkata without telling me so I failed again I've been following celibacy from 4 months but today I saw video of girl normally I have that much control on myself but I don't know what got into to that I opened porn site thankfully I didn't masturbate every time I started foing something spiritual something comes in the way its like something dragging me down Some scripture say find a guru how tf am I supposed to find a guru I visited some big temple of kolkata like dakshineshwar,kaighat,blur math(place where ramkrishna paramhansa initiated vivekananda) in hope to find a guru or someone who can guide me I spend as much time as possible there but nothing 4 months ago I broke contact from all of my friends so that I can meditate as much as possible so I lost all of my frnd Now I'm fked both sides

  • Your Question is too broad.Please edit your question and ask them one-by-one.This seems more like a rant than a question.Sure here people are there who would help you but if could kindly be more specific, we could help you even better.Kindly also search your question before asking a new question, chances are some of them might already have been answered in the past.... Nov 9, 2022 at 18:41
  • Maybe go lil more gradually, slowly with it ? I started following Shakta path earlier this year for first time in my life, so am pretty much brand new to this also. I understand feeling kinda uncertain how to proceed. Maybe just go lil more slowly with things ? Even if stuffs got messed up by Kolkata trip, just try and resume again bit by bit ? If gets interrupted again, no big thing, resume after that too. And just my personal opinion here but I def don’t think you gotta eighty-six your friends and relationships for this. I’m on Shakta/Tantra path & it never says anywhere that is necessary. Nov 10, 2022 at 1:08
  • 1
    Also, if we’re starting on this path now, we’re gonna be on it hopefully for years & decades right ? Assuming we don’t get hit by bus hahaha :P So yeah anyway, maybe think of it more like a slow burn kinda thing, rather than starting too much then it’s very enormous & formidable and we couldn’t get anywhere. You know how they say w/ huge stuffs, break into little pieces, make lists, and go one thing at a time. It’s ridiculous that I know less than everyone here but seem to be writing out such huge advice, um ok ! :) Anyway maybe one of the more knowledgeable types will put a reply below too :D Nov 10, 2022 at 1:18
  • 1
    @Miss I'm surely going to start again there's no doubt about it and I have no problem in following it for yrs but even time I start something happens also I don't stopped contacting my friends on purpose, after doing my classes I got so little time which I choose to spend in meditation and other stuffs Nov 10, 2022 at 2:47
  • 1
    @Abhinav Raj What exactly do you want to focus on first??Do you want to get started with meditation/brahmacharya/learn more abt a specific philosophy? As its really hard to try to learn everything at the same time due to your time-crunch. So Kindly please edit your Qn and ask more specific Qns Nov 10, 2022 at 3:28

3 Answers 3


Another point of view thru Shri Ramsukhdas Swami

Shri Ramsukhdas Swami , is a contemporary ascetic (of Rajasthan 1904, lived 102 years), since his young age of 4, who travelled across India with a prime objective, to spread the message of Bhagavad Gita.He was absolutely devoid of any ostentation.(stayed away .. from being photographed, getting his feet touched, making disciples, accepting gifts , donations, accumulating money or things etc., building ashrams (monasteries), making cults etc.)

His works are published by Gita Press Gorakhpur.

His book (cited below) is sure to answer the question posed here , as well as , could clarify several related doubts ( in the light of scriptures)

Is Salvation not possible without a Guru. Published by Gita Press. Gorakh pur.

(Quoting a portion from Sri Ramsukhdas Swami s book)

Q : How can salvation be attained without a Guru because it is mentioned in Ramacharitamanas that no one can cross the worldly ocean without a Guru? "Guru binu bhav nidhi tarayi na koyi" (Manas, Utter. 93/3)
It also means that salvation is not possible with the help of a fraud Guru. Only having a Guru is not sufficient. Salvation is only possible when you follow the path shown by a real saint and in that case he is your Guru. When anybody's teachings help us to attain salvation, he becomes our Guru even without declaring so. On the contrary if we have a Guru but we do not follow his teachings, it will not lead us to salvation.

Q : How can a person who can differentiate between good and evil be called one without a Guru?
Everyone possesses the discretionary knowledge (vivek) to judge good and bad. He also knows to repeat the Name of the Lord, to remember God and to not harm anybody. The source of all this knowledge is a Guru.It is not necessary that one can attain salvation simply by having a Guru, but one can attain it by one's own yearning and strong desire for it.God is the Guru of the whole world " Krishnam Vande Jagatgurum You are also a part of this world, then how can you be without a Guru? Therefore stay in company of noble saints and follow their teachings.

You are not capable of testing or cross-examining a Guru. If you were able to test a Guru, then you have become the Guru of the Guru. Can one who can test a Guru be any thing less than the Guru? The one who can examine a Guru, is great. In such a state, it is best that you not make anyone a Guru and simply engage in spiritual discourses and self-study, and whatever talks appear to be appealing, imbibe them in your life. Have association of such saints in whose company, your intensity for God Realization increases, bad conduct and bad qualities naturally go away on their own, and good qualities and good conduct come on their own, when God is remembered in a special way, when faith and trust in God increases, without even asking questions, the doubts are resolved on their own and the spiritual guide desires to take nothing from us. Benefit from them without engaging in a Guru-Disciple relationship. If you see any faults in him, or something appears to not be right, then leave that place.

The scriptures recommend leaving such a Guru -
Gurorpyavaliptasya kaaryaakaaryamajaanatah | Utpathpratipannasya oarityaago vidheeyate || (Mahabharat, Udhyog. 178/48)
"If a Guru, out of his false ego, forgets what to do and what not to do and proceeds on a wrong path, he should be given up, it is sanctioned by the scriptures."
Gyaanaheeno guroostyaajyo mithyaavaadee vikalpakah | Swavishraanti na jaanaati parashaanti karoti kim || (Sidhsidhaantsangrah, Gurugeeta)
"An ignorant, untruthful and confusing Guru should be given up, because the one who could not attain tranquility and peace himself, how can he give peace to others?"

Q. : It is believed that when a Guru gives a secret teaching (Guru Mantra), it becomes more effective, is it true?
Such a secret teaching or Guru Mantra shall be effective only when the Guru (teacher) himself is effective. One who does not possess any effective power, how can he impart effective power through his secret mantra? Therefore it is said -
Vachan aagale sant ka, hariyaa hasti dant | Taakh na tute bharam ka, saindhe hi binu sant ||
It means that utterances of a realized saint are as powerful as the teeth of an elephant, which break open the doors of ignorance. An elephant can break the doors of a fort with his teeth, but without the elephant, and merely with his teeth alone, one cannot break the doors even if they so desire. The reason being that the actual strength is in the elephant, and not only in his teeth. Similarly, effective influence lies in the life experiences and impressions (anubhav) of the saint and not in his hollow utterances alone.

Q. : Some people get super natural experience from awakening of Kundalini with the help of some Gurus. What is this?
Ans :
Such miracles do happen but they do not help in attainment of eternal bliss or salvation. Salvation takes place when one transcends the body and the world.


Well the answer maybe, completely just from my point of view. And maybe long as well.

Well,I would say every spiritual person goes through such a phase where one is between running behind spiritualism and Bhogas and thus in a chains of delimeas, if you experienced this you are on right track. These questions flung straight upon everyone's face, that from where do I start, how do I do etc. These are the sign boards that shows, your in the right swamp. But, people online can pour their thoughts and answers but you need to find your story and waking point.

How should I start my spiritual journey!

That's a queetion that doesn't count if your dedicated. Okay so let's go from some basics, right! I too am a zero level and neo Bhakta, but I can say there is no benchmark that reads here starts the spiritual life(until some incidents change your life, like mine did). Why so? Since, you don't need any specialization or course to be Astik and a Bhakta, or say embark the journey. Because, Adhyatma is very much core of life. Other activities are surrounded around it and not vice versa. But, yes your turning point can be towards the ishtadevta. See the fact that you want to meditate is praiseworthy enough. But, kindly save it for a little late. Because, first kindly calculate who is truly your isht devi/devta amongst the Panchdevtas (Surya, Shakti, Shiva, Ganesh, Vihsnu). Why the need for ishta? Because u need some focal point to start. For someone it might be say Krishna, Shiva, Paramba etc or any particular deity. It is because we can dedicate ourselves to them.
Like Say you meditated, but upon what? Initially you need an object to meditate upon (Im not talking about trataka or any vigraha, I mean a form to begin with) because, we are not so advanced sadhakas, that we can meditate on formless Brahma at such a juvenile stage.
So, once you have chossen your ihsta devta, next thing is to surrender onto him. Surrender all your tendencies to the deity. Lust, love, anger, jealously everything to the deity. Say if you love someone, your all tendencies will be to make that person happy. So, that object is our diety. This is called doing Sampurna Sharnagati. Your eating, your walking, your sleeping, your each and every action is then dedicated as if to that deity. Then, even if you are in the world, you won't feel the burdern that Im not spiritual or I need to strech an extra hour for my puja as slowly your mind and tendencies start to dissolve into the deities Roop, Saundarya, Dhyaan Bhajan etc.
Because, if you think all your actions are for Bhagwati, nothing can bother you, srry to say even if someone plays porn next to you, you wouldn't even think of the thing going around you. (These are not my words but the words of the acharyas that I learnt, honestly I'm no Indrajeet person who have right to preach since I too am drawn by senses. But, that's how things happen over time.)

' I visited some big temple of kolkata like dakshineshwar,kaighat,blur math(place where ramkrishna paramhansa initiated vivekananda) in hope to find a guru or someone who can guide me I spend as much time as possible there but nothing.'

Indeed how can we find guru out of the thin air? Because to find a guru means to go after a deity, an Achar, a Parampara, A sampradaya, be it Natha yogis, Vaishnavas, Kaulas, Vamacharis, Shaivas, Smartas or any other sampradaya. Untill we are loyal to one, how can we find a guru😅. So, firstly calculate the ishta devta, the sampradaya or achara that appeases you. Then just simply surrender to the deity and ask for guidance and trust me paths will open automatically for you. For now read Purans, great works from the realized souls like RamaKrishna Paramhamso, do Vani path or stotras, something that have connection to your deity whenever you get time. Since, at initial stage when a person tries to step in adhyatma is very cloudy, and balancing daily life and getting spiritually progress is hard enough.

' 4 months ago I broke contact from all of my friends so that I can meditate as much as possible so I lost all of my frnd Now I'm fked both sides. '

As I said, such things do happen. It was all divine play. So, better no lament because you actually lost nothing neither it's late.
Start with the basic steps like start reading shastras, do naam jaap and Stotra path, listen to some acharyas (not self proclaimed ones) Shree Hit Premanandji Maharaj, Rajendradasji Maharaj, Shrungeri Jagadguru Shankaracharya, Raghvacharyaji (these are the best and true Dharmatmas on YouTube I know till now.) Since, daily stasang is needed. I would say get into the HSE chat box here, as many leaned scholars are here with bigger brains and heart to guide you, no doubt.

It is never to late anyday, hurdles comes for us, because a single step into Adhyatma is one by one step out of life and birth cycle.

I have something which is my favourite line from the Shakta Shastra to boost your morale,

चंडीका उवाच,
यश्च माम् भजेत नित्यमं वित्तम् तस्य हराम्याहं |
करोमी बंधुविच्छेदम् स तु कष्टेन जीवती ||
एषु तापेषु संतपह् यदि माम न परीत्यजेत |
दियते परमस्थानं यत् स्थानं विष्णु दुर्लभं ||
Chandika devi said,
Those who are devoted to me, I take away all their wealth. I make him loose all his friends and torture him alot. Even after this, if a person, if he doesn't abandons me despite all those odds and keeps worshiping me, I free him from all miseries and give him that place (here it means parampada) which is even difficult for Vishnu to get.

This verse is not to scare anyone, but it shows that stepping into adhyatma is not a cakewalk. Only with steadpointed focus and determination one can reach the isht devta. So, buckle up your shoes and get into it.

Edit- Sorry I was unable to add the comments and also was also unable to write more in chat box due to limit. So, I will add here.
See everyone here is either working or studing. No one have free hours like 6-7 hours to sit in front of the deity and do bhajan kirtan and get anugraha, because you can say we are into samsara for say grihasta dharma. So, daily wordly transactions are needed to be done and followed. But how? Those actions must not be for ourselves. Take an example, you wish to today eat say Roshagulla, now that is bhautik iccha in us, which one must refrain from, since eating for the sake of tongue is considered a sin in all shastras. So, how do you do that? The best option is buy the Roshagulla and first do naivedya to the deity. So, simply do that for the priti for deity(to make her happy) and take that Roshagulla as prasad. Likewise say, we are studying, but here the motto must be to study for the sake that if we study hard enough, we can realize our dreams and have enough money to do nirvaha of our Grihasta Dharma in future and do Daan, Dakshina, yajna and nitya and naimittik pujas for Kuldevtas, Rishis and Pitras, etc. That's how we surrender all our daily life activities to the deity. For example if you cook something to eat for yourself, (alas since we have to fill our stomach) so you must have the bhaav that, Im cooking for my Deity. First I will offer it to her/him and then partake it as Prasad. Say you are sleeping, the bhaav must be Im sleeping now so that I can awake up in morning and worship my deity again. If one is bathing, the bhaav must be we are bathing so that we can cleanse the body and engange ourselves in Dharma. Thats how you do it, even if you have no time, yet you are doing all daily activities for deity and thus doing a upasana in itself. And that's how most Dharmik Grihastas be like.
See the basic problem of lust, anger, jealousy is in me too. But then there we must use our viveka. Whenever we find ourselves helpless and surrounded by say lust, we must cry to the deity to help us to overcome the tendecy and hormonal stuff. It's hard, even I fail at times to subdue the urges then comes in starting to do jaap of the devta loudly, turn on their bhajans. Slowly the tendency would be gone. For anger issues, it's spontaneous, we can't help. All we can do is first ask for sorry from that person and make a resolution that we wil be maun(silent) even if anyone dares to poke us. Anger issues are truly a problem but, by remaining silent, you done the 50% job, because if you don't speak anything things would get into places ontheir own.
The next problem I forgot to address earlier was, you said you tried to do Ajapa Japa. See, what is Ajapa Japa? It is when your body doesn't even knows (isn't even conscious that japa is happening) and your mind is constantly thinking of the deity and doing japa that's Ajapa japa. Okay, so say we couldn't even practice the meditation for few days, how can we do Ajapa japa which is the higgest stage of japa? It's like a 10th std kid saying I entered IITs. That's not possible. Because even that kid went to IITs and attended the lectures, it's wastage of time! Because, he won't be able to grab anything, since he have wobbling basics. And finally he would be demotivated and give up studies saying I worked so hard but failed. It's because we skipped the basics and hoped to advanced level. Same applies here. So, as I tried to put my thoughts, kindly select an ishta devta (there can't be 2*3 deities at a single time whom you consider as isht) and start doing their naam jaap (chant their name, for eg, Durga Durg Durga, or Shiv Shiv Shiv). First to Vacik japa (with mouth) then slowly over years you won't even know and your Ajapa Japa would be started. Hope I made sense in here and this helped you. In case if you have more queries, you can ping me on telegram. I have the same username there as well.

कालिकार्पणमस्तु 🌺|

  • Best answer❤ Also can u pls explain total surrender part Nov 12, 2022 at 0:21
  • I mean how am I supposed to surrender all my tendencies to my deity I am an engineering student so I have to spend 7-8 hours in studying so how am I supposed to dedicate my studying,my eating and my everything to my deity also I have huge problem dealing with lust and anger so how am I supposed to dedicate these type of things to my deity Nov 12, 2022 at 0:26

Let me tell you an example from a text where Shiva taught how to approach something we are unaware of.

  1. First identify best possible method of doing a thing available across the globe.
  2. Then identify the 2nd best possible way or the middle/average path.
  3. Then the lowest possible and so on.

Now try to approach the first one according to your life condition/health/ashrama etc. If you think you cannot do it or not have the required capability fallback to lower one and so on.

This approach needs some home work and consultation. You have to follow your gut feeling.

If you don't find any guru take help from Shastras, even if you fail in this birth and you have the genuine desire, your desire for spiritual upliftment will follow you in next birth.

Start with Bhagavada Gita, it contains the cream of all the shastras. After you can understand it you can choose your direction based on your taste and attraction towards Hatha Yoga, Tantra Yoga or Bhakti Yoga etc.

This approach is taught by Shiva in context with the spiritual aspect and mentioned in some Kashmiri Tantric text which i am currently not able to recall, i will add the exact quote as soon as find the source.

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .