I heard from Parama Pujya Morari Bapu's Rama Katha that starting from our birth we have parents supporting us in every situation until they become old. And we have our friends and family members also supporting us. They help us make right decisions in our life. But as we age, we become alone and we need a partner to continue making right decisions in each others' lives, that's why we have to marry.
But I want to know what our scriptures say about marriage. Why should we marry?
What does our scripture say about marriage?
As per manusmriti, there are four purposes of Hindu marriage
Why should we marry?
What Param Pujya Morari Bapu mentioned is the simplified truth to drive home a point for a larger society of people coming from different walks of life.
This is how it is said in the Satapatha Brahmaṇa. V.2.1.10
Being about to ascend, he (the Sacrificer) addresses his wife, 'Come, wife, ascend we the sky!'--'Ascend we!' says the wife. Now as to why he addresses his wife: she, the wife, in sooth is one half of his own self; hence, as long as he does not obtain her, so long he is not regenerated, for so long he is incomplete. But as soon as he obtains her he is regenerated, for then he is complete. 'Complete I want to go to that supreme goal,' thus (he thinks) and therefore he addresses his wife.
Based on the translation by Julius Eggeling [1882]
A virtuous husband and wife need each other as they proceed through life to fulfill their dharma. Through marriage they unite and together they attain the divine.
References:
According to BHagavad Gita, Krishna says kamo aham asmi that I am that sex life in according to religious principles so two main reason as to why Krishna says like this or one should marry
1. To advance in Spiritual life otherwise their Will be chaos in society or it will be a kind of animalistic society.
2. To give birth to a good progeny and to train them in religious principles.
This way one can attain salvation.
Namaste
For scriptures marriage or no marriage is immaterial. Males represent reasoning. Females represent emotion. Both should manifest in each other for soul to progress to next level.
Marriage is a social custom and the prescribed age difference is with logic, when male becomes old, the female being younger is atleast able to serve or take care of her husband or partner. The female (mother) is to be taken care by son.
The society has laid down responsibility to take care of parents by children - repeat male children. In societies, where male population is less, females are given the right. So within India, you have patriach family(rest of India) and matriach family (eastern India).
To attach any significance to patriach or matriach society is ignorance
The practise of property going to male children is due to the fact that the parents bestow their earned property to son / daughter (depending upon society norms) as a way to repay the services bestowed, and it is not the right of the children to claim !!
The hindu custom of giving property share to daughters at the time of marriage is another beautiful instance that our society did not differentiate between son or daughter. As son is likely to stay till last breath of parents, the property rights are given in the end.
The ignorant people have unfortunately, assigned the term "dowry" to property share of daughter. As per original Hindu customs and practises, giving share of property is voluntary affair not a birth right.
Marriage is more of social convenience than any thing else. A saint is supposed to be unmarried, but has more children (all disciples and followers) than a married person !!!
Marriage is to be seen as union of thoughts rather than physical.
1) Marriage is a social or society practise 2) Marriage is a custome to sustain old age and all the laws of property surround on karma and its "zero" sum if practised properly as per scriptures 3) Monism as stated by certain scriptures is more of lessening the karma balance 4) Lord Budha, at one stage, enforced, that people can join him only when he/she gets his/her family permission 5) That is why Sri Adi Shankara had to play the "divine" scene of crocodile catching him and his mother allowing him to be "sanyasin". Crocodile is representative of wordly attractions. 6) Read and understand "Gajendra Moksham" which resembles to Sri Adi shankara's known episode.
In general, Hinduism supports household life over other. In the smriti and Vedic literature the household life is praised over renunciation. But if someone has some kind of health problem or some aversion then you have to make a decision based on that.
AykAshramyam tvacAryA: pratyakshavidhAnAt gArhasthasya | (Apasthamba Sutram)
Meaning - There is only one Ashramam and that is Grahastha dharma. Thus, the only Ashramam advocated by the vedAs is the eternal gArhastyAshramam and none other. This is the reason why all our seers (cause for our gotrAs) like atri , vasishta ,agastya , bharadvAja ,etc led a lifestyle of jaDa, maravuri, living with consort in the forest, doing penance, performing daily rituals (nitya karmA) , upAsana (worship) of agni , yagnyA and chanting of vedAs until their last breath.
It should be understood that there is no virtue that is superior to "Daampatya-dharma’, the path of married life. Everyone should follow this advice of wisdom-Incarnate throughout their lifetime as wedlock is the way to salvation. One can never experience the fruit of creation without Wedlock. Male and Female species in creation are complementary to each other. One can become whole and complete only after Wedlock. Without Wedlock neither man nor woman can attain fulfillment- they will remain incomplete.
The cause of this universe and the basis for all existence is the penance of Brahman. The result of unswerving penance is knowledge (vidya), gnyAnam , satyam (truth) , sukham (Happiness). This world, created by, and resulting from unswerving penance, has these aspects of form: vidyArUpam , gnyAnarUpam , satyarUpam , sukharUpam . The same is bestowed upon us by the vedAs. Vedas have provided a platform for every soul (being in their respective states) to experience this 'Brahman'. ( the ultimate power)
The main objective of all the Vedas is ‘garhastyashram’ i.e, family life (dampatya). ‘Brahmacharyam’ is instrumental and the preliminary practice for ‘garhastyashram’. Brahmacharyam is the life of Veda adyayanam, enjoying all sorts of happiness, well being, etc i.e. Shastric veda adyayanam is brahmacharyam. Brahmacharyam is also known as ‘garhasyta sadhanam’ as it is preliminary and part of the garhastyashramam referred to in the Vedas. Brahmacharyam which is the life of Veda adyayanam and Gayathri upasana is applicable for all, irrespective of their sex and creed. The regulated proper method of mastering Vedas etc., helps one lead Dhampathya life successfully. This is applicable to woman also. Women are entitled to all ceremonies like Upanayanam, etc.
Mastering the Vedas as ordained is itself a Tapas (Penance). It must be noted that Karma (or action) and Jnana (or knowledge) are not two separate entities. Therefore there is no separate path for Jnanamarga. There is only one path, and that is Vedamarga, the path of the Vedas. Its culmination is in Dhampathya life. The Maharshi couple led the Dhampathya life throughout their lives. Remaining in that Dhampathya, one should desire good progeny, beget ideal children and bring them up with great care. They are the true wealth for ‘the here’ and ‘the hereafter.’ Immortals are fortunate enough to hear the lisping of their children. In a sense, one can attain immortality, if, being of good character, one is born as his/her own progeny. The Vedas state this explicitly.
When a man and a woman of pure conduct, bound by mutual love, consummate their marriage, all elements like form, etc., get totally absorbed in the fire of their union. This absorption creates an intoxicating light radiating from them. When this intoxicating light is also absorbed, Ananda, or Bliss arises and shines forth. The light is absorbed in itself, and Ananda shines. From that, issues forth a child, the sum total of all elements. The Maharishis advised- Always live in the state of Vedic Dampatya.
The Mahashakthi who created the whole universe, laid down the vedic path so that all mankind could live happily enjoying all comforts- temporal and spiritual. The Vedic path is nothing but the life lived by the Maharshis: the eternal dhampathya life enjoined by the Vedas.
“uthishtatha maaswapta agni michadhvam bharataaha” (YV)
This means “ O Bharathiyas! Awake and yearn for fire”, Bha in Sanskrit means light. One who worships light is a Bharateeya. That India is called Bharat clearly conveys that all Indians were following the Vedas and leading a life as prescribed by the Vedas. It extols all to worship fire which is the primordial energy behind all creation
Vedic path refers to the three stages of a person:
The initial stage, which is Brahmacharya: the study and learning of Vedas and Gayathri Upasana, and worship of Agni through oblations twice a day.
The next stage is the Grihastashrama (getting into marital life) and offering oblations to Agni by performing Agni upasana , Yagas , etc. along with the life partner which are meant for the evolution of one’s self in the spiritual realm.
The final stage is offering one’s body after death to the Agni that was worshipped.
It should be understood that vanaprastha is the continuation of grahastha stage after discharging the duties and retiring along with the wife and continuing agni upasana, penance, and nitya karmas.
To lead a life as prescribed by the Vedas, here is the system to be followed by one and all:
Initiation into Gayathri Upasana Study of the Vedas or understanding the messages given in them. Agni upasana as part of Gayathri Upasana and vedic study (BRAHMACHARYA). Getting into married life and continuing Agni Worship as a couple – Grahastha Dharma. Offering one’s body in the fire worshipped by the couple (The concept behind the ritual followed for cremation in the present day)
